ianbrooks asked:

Paul, Parliamentary Inquiry: what is the line of succession for Beard Chair if both of us die?

I feel like if that were to happen, some kid somewhere would wake up the following morning with the most majestic beard the world has ever seen.

Then this sort of tribunal of old bearded men will have to search the lands seeking out this new Bearded One. Which could ultimately lead to several years of an unoccupied Beard Chair. Upon finding this new Bearded One, this group of old men (let’s call them the High Beards) would then interview him and his beard, asking a series of bearded questions in order affirm the rebirth of The Beard.

This interview would then end with the High Beards laying out an assortment of bearded artifacts that once belonged to either of us - though some of the artifacts never belonged to us at all.

If this new Bearded One chooses the correct artifacts, the High Beards will then escort him back to Beard Hall, where all of the Living Beards from the three great Beardoms will have assembled in order to raise their Beard Banners to the Bearded One - pledging their undying loyalty, allegiance, and general beardedness. 

Then he will take his seat in his rightful place …. Beard Chair.